The end of November: The Official Pre-Panic Season
Late November is that historic moment in the year when everyone pretends they’re still in control.
One last gasp of dignity before December steamrolls us with truckloads of LED lights and recycled good intentions.
People start talking about “holiday vibes,” as if a red scarf and a Mariah Carey playlist are enough to erase how tired, cranky, and spiritually dehydrated we all are.
There’s this weird end-of-season clearance energy: 70% off cynicism, total liquidation of enthusiasm. Everyone smiles, but if you look them straight in the eyes, you can spot the collective thought: I cannot handle another limited-edition pistachio holiday dessert. Spoiler: we’ll see twelve more.
Late November is no man’s land: too late to complain about fall, too early to pretend everything’s magical. It’s that transitional little purgatory where we collect guilt the way we collect loyalty points—accidentally and obsessively. We should’ve accomplished something by now. Anything. But here we are with a to-do list that looks like an IKEA catalog: long, vaguely threatening, and full of things we will absolutely never assemble.
And then there’s the weather. That flat, gray sky staring down at you like a tired judge: “You really think you’ve got this? With that face?” It rains just enough to ruin your hair, but not enough to justify staying under a blanket all day. That’s November for you—noncommittal, provoking, meteorologically passive-aggressive.
We should probably take a moment to breathe. But nope—we’re too busy scrolling, rushing, buying, avoiding. Late November is the winter-resort vacation of procrastination: the luxury of pushing everything into December, when it’ll be too late to actually do any of it and just early enough to complain that time is flying.
Either way—don’t worry—December’s almost here to save us.
Or finish us.
Depends on which lights you bought.
Note: all images shown here are intentionally out of context.